Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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