I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
