if only i could text you this smell
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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