did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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