cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
My breasts were aching with rage.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
