You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Randomize