ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
