My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
