If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
