if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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