You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
