I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
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