he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I just found a bag of teeth...
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
