I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize