$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
