thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
