dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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