At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
