i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
