I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
