I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
