Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
