Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
