I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Randomize
