I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize