Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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