Slut skills are useful in every country.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
