Are we in a gay sports bar?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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