Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
