Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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