I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
