so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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