so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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