apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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