i think i have herpe
just one?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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