Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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