I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
