I just threw up on my dentist
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
