all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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