Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Randomize
