so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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