so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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