Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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