Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
