butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
