thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
