I CAN MOONWALK!
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I'm passing your future prison.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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