oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Randomize
