my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
