I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
