Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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