If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
