im so drunk with asians
where?
always
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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