I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
