yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
