I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
My vagina just clenched in fear
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
