I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
there is glitter all over my balls
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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